i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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