i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
