I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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