Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
