i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
