Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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