at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i drank out of a bidet.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
