Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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