Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
