I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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