Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
