i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
