I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
