just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
