dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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