every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
