just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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