Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
