Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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