i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize