Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
