Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
