Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
