:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
