she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
