i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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