But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
