you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize