from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
