So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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