im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
