yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
