In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
