you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
