wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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