It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
