Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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