I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
