i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I want is dick and wine.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
