Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
