her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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