I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
