So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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