was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
