so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
