I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
