K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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