Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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