never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
