Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingđ
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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