six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
