it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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