Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
His nipple licking is glorious
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