My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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