There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
