Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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