Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
