Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
