I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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