check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
