He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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