I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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