Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
