Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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